Do not judge me! I cannot control my demented habits of pursing a fake online game relationship. It is something that has allured me due to its unexpected events and hysterical twist that I create to humor myself, all the while pretending to care about the feelings my mate holds for me. In spite of that, I had the audacity to envision something out of the fraudulent, meaningless relationships; a man two years older than I with desirable features and a ripe, yet jejune personality. I was obsessed with the idea. I indulged in it. I mused about it. I even anticipated it. Every online male player who asked me out, I imagined a majestic, welcoming face that is far out of this world.
These online game relationships started when I was bored by the urgent need to level up and become a level 100; I wanted to leave behind my former noob (term used to call lower levels) self and branch into the world of great warriors, the much better off online players. My online friend, Rice668, was indeed my unforgettable role model, but his success' just wasn’t enough to tame my growing boredom—I needed a reason to play again. I decided to leave Runescape ( the online game) in abeyance for a while, and take a break from the game that left me hallow and mind numbing. So that when I return, I am refueled and ready to play again.
I am undeniably a person who enjoys a good laugh, and I would go to certain lengths to get it; even it means me making a fool of myself. Intrinsically, I am abysmally ashamed of that part of me. I wish I rejected laughing, that way I won't do stupid things to the point where I turn my character into a guy and act affectionate towards another male player. In truth, that has happened before. I was cruel enough to laugh at the player's confusion—he actually believed that he was gay. Kingaxil, was it? I'm not sure of his fake username anymore, it's been a while. Nevertheless, I enjoy a good laugh.
I returned to Runescape, thinking that I had the avidity to once more train my character to level up, but I was horribly wrong. I have gone out with a player for two hours, then broke up with him. I pretended that I was being abused and ran to a random player for reassurance; we ended up going out, but before I dumped him, I made sure to mess with his mind. I bothered players online and got into fights. I'd randomly talk to a person in my friends list and bother him or her and, occasionally, beguile them with pseudo scenarios that appeared real to them. Yes, I know: I'm insane. But, that’s only when my identity is concealed by a computer screen and I have a pixel character representing me. Only then do I let my creativity and my what happens if I do this thoughts run wild. Though, there was a particular relationship that stood out from the others, my online relationship with Cuddlebugs.
As all my other past lovers they adequately lived up to my expectations. Thus, I figured, he was the same way. I originally knew him merely as a noob; one who would have no hope in ever achieving a higher level. Once we met, we talked. A flame was lit, but not enough for me to actually heed his existence. I was fishing once, off the shores of Karamja island, and he messaged me. He asked me what I was doing. I replied with fishing—nothing else. He continued to message. Deep down I did not want to talk to him, at all. I wanted to fish and raise my fishing level. But he seemed a nice enough person to chat with and not for me to say "shut the hell up." The irksome colloquy persevered. Eventually he stated an engaging question: Do you have a boyfriend? I immediately felt awkward, and thought about discouraging him from any thoughts he deemed possible. However, my curiosity struck me. I pondered the possibilities of what will come by replying no, and the same time pondered the results of the answer I don't like you.
I foolishly typed no, then snickered to myself as another fool impulsively walks into my cold-hearted trap of what he assumed was honest affection and right away began to gather an image of his face. He asked if I would like to go out with him and I typed like there was no tomorrow. Yes, yes, yes! All I could say was yes. My boredom, the evil trigger controlling my absurdness, guided me on my meaningless journey. A week into the relationship and, to me, it was already falling apart. He was childish. Our conversations were boring. He had little to no sense of humor. All we've done was dance in circles as he starting saying his childish remarks "I love you more…no, I love you more." I had to get away from him—he was so ridiculous. So, as I've done in all my other relationships, I abandon him. Unfortunately, I couldn't because every time I would flee he would look for me. And what's worst he was ten! He told me that he was sixteen or seventeen, instead he (as I saw him) was a whinny, brat looking for unrequited love.
From that point on I never talked to him again. I was shocked that he was younger than I. It caused me to feel weird inside, as if I was violating some sort of norm. He was nothing how I wanted him to be. I say he was a work in progress! My disappointments, led me to cease my online game relationships. I assumed every player, now, is a ten year old. On rare opportunities, I befriend a sixteen year old or fourteen year old. As I ruminate my situation, I comprehend that I too am at fault. My malfeasances were the cause of my misfortune and from that day on, I vowed to never do online dating again.
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